PUA Glossary

I have specially curated these terms and concepts clarifying where necessary with plenty of original material included. Reading glossaries is a great way of getting a handle on a new topic area and I love writing them. I have expanded this PUA Glossary from my ‘PUA Glossary – Core Version‘. I haven’t put every possible word in here; just the ones that are the most useful. Some of these terms have a rather different meaning in this context which you will soon discover. I have endeavored to keep the material gender neutral in terms of the reader but I admit a bias towards women as the focus.

Your personal librarian delivering the PUA Glossary

Sexy librarian Victoria Dagger bending over selecting your PUA Glossary.
Meet your geeky sheik personal librarian delivering the PUA Glossary to your screen.
Does she look at all familiar ?, well shame on you

AFC – Average Frustrated Chump which usually refers to males. A typical guy who can’t see past his own desperation.

Two sexy nurses helping to cure an AFC as they gently read the PUA Glossary to him.
Professional Nurses helping to cure an AFC as they gently describe the terms from this PUA Glossary

He is open to every cliché and cheesy Walt Disney mindset going and hasn’t really reflected on things effectively. He’s let another do the thinking for him and bless him he makes it easier for you to look good. If you are an AFC congratulations you have made it to the right place. Since you are reading this PUA Glossary you have already taken a step away from that dreadful limbo. If you happen to be an ascetic this doesn’t apply because there is nothing average about you. However even though your intentions are very different to AFC’s you do have on or two things in common.

Saint Francis of Assisi featured in this PUA Glossary because of similarities with AFCs.
Saint Francis of Assisi. An ascetic and holy man who was well known for not getting any action but he wasn’t an AFC.
Credit: Wellcome Library, London. Wellcome Images images@wellcome.ac.uk http://wellcomeimages.org

AMOG – Alpha Male Of the Group which is the dominant male. It can be quite subjective sometimes and appearances can be deceiving. Since there isn’t a female equivalent I am introducing one here – AFOG, go figure !

AMOGed – That guy on the beach kicking sand in your face showing off his dominance at its most basic. Many subtler versions of this exist such as a professor taking the credit for their assistant’s work. However dominance and the appearance of dominance can be manipulated by creative players. For instance a guy who has hitched a lift on a yacht can give an appearance of authority to guests by inviting them in and so forth. Nice example from Reddit here.

 With non-humans dominance often translates to size but it is not necessarily case with humans which can give guys who are not so physically well endowed a chance to play the alpha in some situations. Status is the most obvious but in the sub-cultures that abound today status might not mean you’ve got to be the driving executive climbing the corporate ladder. The RSD coaches have a lot to say on this albeit with an Amercian bias.

  For instance you could be an especially gruesome and original Goth attracting the admiration of others in your clique.  It is conceivable that butch lesbians or transsexuals do this also as Alpha Others but my brain hurts just thinking about the spiraling of terms here. It is maybe something for the forums it’s just too geeky for this PUA Glossary if that is possible.

Approach Anxiety. The fear of going up to someone which usually refers to going up to strangers. There are various techniques and psychological tricks you can use to get past this. One significant method is having a wing or a coach to force you past that ! After a certain point you just don’t care anymore.

Calibration. If you’ve been living under a rock all your life, take note. It is about being socially aware in your interactions and appearance. This can vary between different times, countries and subcultures. However some people are well aware of the mores of their society and choose ignore them.

Advanced level players sometimes calibrate a little out so they don’t come across as too smooth.

Cold Approach – Going up to a stranger and talking to them. In restricted societies, such as England it can be difficult to get past our social conditioning which brings us to Approach Anxiety as above.

Daygame – As distinct from Nightgame. The practice of making approaches during the day with direct or indirect romantic intentions.

DHV – Pua lingo from Display High Value. One of the Cornerstones of Mystery’s (Erik von Markovik) work. When someone displays high value they increase their mating potential.

Direct Approach – Going up to someone with unconcealed romantic interest. For example, ‘Hi, your hot’. I am not suggesting this is a good approach. You can check out my book if you want some better examples.

An advanced example of Escalation where context is all

Top dating coach Kezia Noble enjoying a demonstration of physical escalation by the Tusk as he describes a bar fight. You wouldn’t just walk up to someone and do this although the neck area can be powerfully erotic if you do it right

Escalation. In this context that is physical escalation. You ride a tricky line between being creepy and being effective. Escalation makes the interaction strictly non-platonic and disperses any notions of being friend zoned. It helps if you have a knowledge of erogenous zones and know how to do it without being awkward.

I guess it is only going to make things worse if I mention the Gunwitch hypothesis which has studies to support it. Basically if you are turned on you have more chance of turning on your potential date with transference shifts and hormonal effects. I know this sounds incredibly bad, feminists love this stuff.

Flaking  – A person flakes when they don’t show up to a date, cancels or doesn’t respond to calls. If this becomes a problem more time after the initial approach creating trust and comfort may help.

Framing – Your frame of reference in an interaction. Frames can bring in non-rational elements which work in subtle ways to make someone feel a certain way without being explicit. For those of an adventurous nature can it open up a whole world of fantasy to explore. Framing is the sub-strata where the magic happens.

Great frames for your purposes are naughty school girl/boy, strict headmaster/mistress, skiving from work, a shoplifter, an undercover agent, a bank robber.  This can be very exciting but it can end badly because some people don’t have a very clear handle on day to day reality and crazy framing will mess it up further.

If your conversant is hostile or testy he/she may want to frame you as a pathetic, try hard loser and herself/himself as the queen/king of posterior sunlight.

Friend Zone – Being seen as a friend when you want to be a lover. If you are not too hung up with being friend zoned you can play around with it. Some people are very changeable in their behaviours and when the Moon is right you’ll have your day. Others friend zone you as a first stage of something more physical.

However it doesn’t mean you have got to be a chump picking up her washing while she goes on a date. Just be cool don’t be a desparado. The worst scenario is that you have a great potential wing. See Wing-girl/guy.

Half-Takeaways. Rebuffing someone over something that is very abstract or not greatly important. The dynamic could be likened to a cat playing with a ball on a piece of string. The pussy is more likely to show interest if the ball is out of reach sometimes.

For instance with a full takeaway someone may say, ‘I hate you stay away from me’ but with a half takeaway this may be tempered to something like, ‘I like you but you are probably too sensible for me’ Which might encourage someone to loosen up and be spontaneous. Half takeaways can still be very powerful and cumulative because you are not putting all your eggs in basket as you do with full takeaways. You introduce a more playful, flirtatious vibe which is not so dark and desperate. See Takeaways.

I-Date – An instant date which could be a bounce to a bar or coffee shop. The ‘low hanging fruits’ approach tends to best whilst an instant invitation to go bungee jumping might be too much. Calibration can be very important here. For instance to make a crude example you are more likely to be rebuffed if you invite a tea-totaller to the local beer festival than you would inviting a rock chick to a Lemmy tribute.

Neil Strauss one of the Kings of Indirect Approach

Neil Struss master of Indirect Apporach with girlfriend.
Author Neil Strauss and friend Jackie Dawn. Struss was one of the masters of Indirect Approach before he
denounced his practices when the media turned against dating coaches

Indirect Approach – Going up to someone and not admitting a romantic interest although you do have one. It is more creepy than Direct Approach. For example ‘I’m doing a survey for a University Study on colour ‘. Then you might use NLP, Weasel Words and all the other PUA techniques use to turn him/her on and set up a date. I did mention it was more creepy. See Direct Approach.

Infield – When someone is involved in a daygame/nightgame related interaction in public. Often this has involved some degree of recording for coaching or  analysis purposes which brings up many of issues regarding privacy and ethics.

I-O-I – Indicator of Interest. For example, a smile, a flick of the hair, a look or even a blush. You must be careful not to delude yourself, it can be very deceptive and context dependent.

A Vanilla Couple Linking Hands

Linking hands an illustration of Kino
Linking fingers is more intimate and a strong indication he might go further

Kino – Touching. A misnomer abbreviated from Kinaesthetic.  The word ‘kino’ grew from the street. One of the early players coined it from something half read and half understood which then caught on. The actual  un-abbreviated word means something related but different out of the context of this Pua Glossary.

Lady Shield (The Author’s Euphemism) – A.k.a. C**p Tests, B****h Tests, S**t Tests. This goes back to the ark and is very special. Your potential dates may brutally test your metal with insults, abuse, hostility. However some reaction even a bad one is better than indifference. For example the classic, ‘I have a boyfriend’. This is an area in the geeky forums that has received obsessive attention. Possible responses could be :

‘Most attractive women do, and it doesn’t stop them trading up either’ Then the smile. Confident

‘That’s nice, I have a pet gerbil’. Cheeky, Cocky and Funny. Then move the conversation on swiftly

‘Well thanks that you are thinking of me like that but I’d like to get to know you better’ Tricky and Intriguing

 It might be true or it might not, just don’t get phased by it. Stay grounded and keep it light. You should be happy that they think enough of you to put you through the ringer. Unfortunately like baby turtles trying to make it to the sea many suitors are finished at this point never to return. Some guys unintentionally invite hostile responses by sounding robotic, being incongruent or lacking confidence. It will be go better for you if you are nonchalant and paradoxically outcome independent. See Blow-Out Game.

Your personal librarian is luring with you with a strong I-O-I

Sexy PUA Glossary librarian flirting with you dangling an arm of her black rimmed spectacles from her mouth.
A London Daygame Model posing for this PUA Glossary, sorry just conflating to confuse you.

London Daygame Model (LDG or LDM) – A significant method of cold approach which has its roots in London probably Shoreditch High Street. Top exponents of this method are Tom Torero and James Tusk. If you want to find out more about this I have a separate page here.

Metrosexual – A snowflake phenomena where guys get overly fussy and narcissistic about their appearance in an effeminate way.

Negging – Welcome to the dark side of game. With negging you de-validating or give mixed signals with the intention of hooking attention which can encourage the subject/victim to try to regain validation. The modern king of this dark art was Julien Blanc  before he went down the rabbit hole of cult leader.

Some negging can be back handed compliments such as many of those introduced by the number one PUA pioneer ‘Mystery’ (Erik von Markovik). However many of his negs can be devilishly harsh because his focus is on bitchy hot model types. Many daygamers re-frame negging as teasing today which is a milder and less offensive form. Calibration is very important here; a harsh neg can be seen as a fun flirt by one person and devastating by another.

Nightgame – As distinct from Daygame. Making approaches at night often in clubs or bars with direct or indirect romantic intentions. In nightgame things can be escalated faster and reactions are more extreme as might be imagined when alcohol is involved.

NLP – Neuro Linguistic Programming. A fringe science that uses visualisation and semantics to manipulate people. Ross Jeffries is the top exponent of these techniques in the daygamer context which are rather dodgy and manipulative. Moreover it is often difficult to know if you get a result what it is that is working. Included in this PUA Glossary because it is a significant theme in the literature.

Number Close – Getting someone’s phone number, synonymous with sales terminology which has become an art form all unto itself. Beyond beginner level a PUA might be rather cagey about asking their potential date for a number directly because it can come from position of weakness.

Better to arrange a future meet up and the number as an after thought. For example : Conversant ‘….yeah we could meet in XYZ bar later‘, Suitor ‘Great 7pm Ok? ‘, ‘Yes’, ‘You can flash me when you are there‘ Conversant, ‘But I don’t have your number’, ‘Oh yeah‘. Pulls out phone ‘put it in for me would for me would you, I find it a bit fiddly’

Pos / Poz – A useful but lesser known technique which uses a positive frame placed within a broader negative context.

Example # 1 Mistaken Identity,  ‘Oh hello, ah sorry you looked like my ex, lost my specs oh actually you’re much more attractive than her’.  Your own frame can be very powerful. I have actually gone up and kissed a person I thought I knew before I realised it was someone else and yet they went with it.

Example #2 Location Poz, ‘You can’t be from around here you look too stylish’. This works surprisingly well in the field. Think of the song ‘fools to the left, jokers to the right….’

PUA – Pick Up Artist. A person who has developed skills in approaching, dating and seduction. A lot of coaches use studies drawn from psychology and social science but Pick Up Scientist just does not sound right.

Push-Pull.  Using emotive opposites in a romantic interaction which can be alternating between demonstrating desire and dis-interest, validation and de-validation, complimenting and insulting, rejecting and accepting.

However it can be a very manipulative, divisive practice so use it sparingly or suffer the consequences. Some people are naturally capricious other’s do it by design. See Takeaway.

Rapport – The sense of an understanding, an empathy, a close and harmonious link between one or more people. For mages of mischief it can be like a glamour which he/she castes towards an absolute stranger.

With a new person it’s hitting the ground running and can be totally fake unless you subscribe to the view that the bonds between any human are great and every human is intimately connected in some profound and transcendent way. Some people use references to the past and childhood to engineer a false connection. This PUA Glossary advises caution when dealing with people who you may suspect are vulnerable or unstable.

Snowflake – A generational phenomena where a person is overly genteel, obsessive about political correctness and hypersensitive regarding their own welfare. For example using ‘hir‘ instead of his/her/other so you don’t heaven forbid misgender someone. Personally I would support this because gendering is getting in the way of smoothly flowing text. Trouble is when you use ‘hir’ or worse ‘ze’ no one knows what the heck you’re doing and think you are talking gibberish.

Spiking is bringing sexual intent to your interactions either in language or your behaviour. It is a risky practice that you should definitely do at some point however done wrong you will just come across as immature, or a desperado and a creep.

Tom Torero’s Underground Classic

Royally burning his bridges from ever teaching in primary schools again

Street Hustle – Approaching people in public with an agenda. With regards to PUA it is synonymus with London Daygame. The term was popularised by Tom Torero and his brilliantly seedy book ‘Street Hustle’ as illustrated above. However street hustle has a broader context with the PUA’s rubbing shoulders with chuggers, beggers and buskers.

Stacking or Assumption Stacking is guessing something about your conversant and telling them. It can be based on national stereotypes, style, professions or anything plausible in the situation. It is an important part of the LDM model which you can explore further. My recent book is based around European stereotypes which can be great fun in conversations. If you know just 4 or 5 stacks it will go a long way, they don’t have to be correct and it is important to keep it cheerful and light.

Some people can get uncannily accurate at doing this and the more background knowledge you have the more you have to talk about. However it must be borne in mind that in the daygame context you want your potential date to invest in the interaction, so don’t be a megabore and overdo it.   Stacking is a technique generally used after an introduction, to move the conversation forward and make some loose ends. It helps you stay in the game, especially if you run out of things to say. For example ‘You must be Russian with a coat like that’. If you want more infield examples check out ‘The Little Black Book of European Stereotypes’

Takeaway – The push part of the push-pull dynamic. You have seen it in all your favourite romances from Romeo and Juliet to Mills and Boon or probably every chick flick since cinema was invented. A full takeaway shows the intention to walk away which has similar dynamics to a business negotiation. Use with care. 

Old Skool full takeaways can be very extreme and set up a storm of powerfully fluctuating emotions. Because of its absolute nature modern daygamers temper this technique with softer approaches which can still be very powerful. See Half-Takeaways.

Validation –  A very significant concept past beginner’s level.  For instance a Neg might de-validate someone and a compliment might validate someone which can be used to influence their conversant either by undermining or rewarding. Top American dating coach Todd Valentine goes pretty deep on this but cross cultural differences have to be borne with his suggestions.

Subscribers to this model suggest that  if you go over the top with compliments you may over-validate and negate any need in your conversant to continue their relationship with you. A flaw in this view is that it bases attraction solely on a person’s perception of their worth and the worth of their conversant. This infers a hierarchical view to a certain degree which may be different across different countries. Regarding female sexuality it does not take into account how much a woman can be attracted to someone in a more physical way.  See Negging.

Tooling. Making a fool of someone often without their knowledge. For example ‘Hey man I love your jumper, where did you get it ?’

It is the wimpy guys’ revenge on meatheads with the pencil necks using their superior intellects over the meatheads superior brawn. See Amoged.

Vibing – A sense of someone which can begin even before anything is spoken. With vibing people can come across as dangerous, mysterious or fun for example. Appearances are significant so check out my post on aesthetic game an see how this fits in with the London Daygame Model.

Weasel words – These direct someone towards a certain feeling or mental state which may be placed in a conversation about something else.

 For instance such a word or phase may seem plausible within the context of the sentence but may also evoke powerful sexual imagery which appears completely unintended. When a person experiences this they may feel that they are reading things into what is said themselves. Ross Jeffries does a lot of this stuff which is related to NLP.

Wing Girl/Guy. They roll with you infield and are there to help you set up dates, create a good vibe and generally big you up. My personal preference is to have a wing of the opposite sex, bi-sexual ideally. Many people take it in turns to play wing; so no-one misses out.

 However they are not their to hijack your dates and need some degree of social intelligence or they just become an annoying waste of space and a liability.


Further Reading…

This PUA Glossary focuses on key terms with original material added from the author. If you want a PUA Glossary that looks at everything regardless of its value check this one out.

If you want to expand your stacking repertoire buy my new book on Amazon – ‘The Little Black Book of European Stereotypes‘ or if you want some more details check out my landing page for the ‘little black book…’

Next Up : London Daygame – a lightening primer

Facebook Page for the ‘little black book…’

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